Pornography
The UK based artist and prankster Banksy has beautifully illustrated that phenomenon of our western culture known as, “The Elephant in the Room“. Wikipedia defines this expression as “An important and obvious topic, which everyone present is aware of, but which isn’t discussed, as such discussion is considered to be uncomfortable.” So too with Christians. Pornography is a subject which is so uncomfortable, so close to our sensibilities, that we prefer to go into tacit denial rather than face the effects of pornography on our spouses, children, churches and society.
What is undeniable is that the internet has brought pornography into our homes, schools and workplaces in a way that affects us all. Mark Driscoll comments, “It is easier to see a fully naked women than it is to get a drink from the fridge. To get a drink, you have to at least get out of your chair”. Any child who uses a search engine can find themselves faced with a bewildering array of pornographic choices, all just one curious click away from the most graphic, demeaning and violent content. In fact, a recent survey in the UK showed that 90% of all children had accessed pornographic material on the internet and the average age of first exposure was just 11 years old. Further, studies in the U.S. have also shown than 47% of Christian families reported that pornography was a serious problem in their households.
Pornography is not new. Every advance in image-making and distribution has been employed to bring profit to the pornographer. Photography, film, books, magazines, video, web cams, chat rooms and even iphones. What is new, however, is that access to pornography has never been easier. It is now a NZ$80 billion a year industry that has spawned 240 million websites and attracts 68 million search engine queries each day. This exponential growth has claimed tens of millions who are now addicted to pornography. The societal damage is devastating and Christian men and women are not immune.
Jesus had very clear standards about pornography. He said,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5 27-28).
The core of pornography is lustful looking and imagining. We are all condemned by this sin. Worse still, we infect others. In our minds, our attitudes towards our wives, girlfriend’s and daughters are affected. We begin to see them as mere objects as we re-enact our fantasies. Women report that they experience increased levels of violence and even rape within their marriages. Young men begin to believe that sex is instantly available and young women are conditioned to simply accept that pornography is a part of the male psyche; they can never live up to this fantasy and so they accept that demeaning acts and violence are a normal part of becoming an “ideal” partner.
This cycle of abuse and humiliation can be broken.
There is help for Christians and non Christians. Mark Driscolls pamphlet, “Porn-Again Christians” is a very frank discussion for men about their pornography and gives some sobering insights into the sex industry. Equally startling is the chapter in which Ted Bundy, the serial rapist and murderer of dozens of women, is interviewed just hours before his execution. Driscoll calls us to “man-up” to pornographic addictions and fantasies; to seek help from God and confess our behaviour to our partners, parents or a trusted friend. His pamphlet is available for free download here. http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/
And if you think that addiction to pornography is a phenomenon that only affects men, you would be wrong. As pornography becomes “normalised” in our culture and access to media becomes ever easier, a startling number of women are sucked into the vortex of believing that their need for meaningful relationships can be found through activities such as ”sexting”. This has beeen blamed for several high profile suicides when the young women entrusted cell phone pictures and videos of themselves to a boyfriend only to find that these were broadcast widely when the relationship soured. A young woman’s addiction to pornography is discussed openly at www.beggarsdaughter.com and there are useful links to statistics, resources, and support for those women entrapped by pornography
There are also some excellent web-based tools to help break the cycle of pornography.
At a personal level there is free accountability software that monitors the web sites you visit and automatically generates a report for your spouse, parent or your accountability partner. http://x3watch.com/
For children, as with drugs and alcohol, we can’t assume that our own love and parenting skills, will somehow make them immune from temptation and addiction. With such alarming exposure statistics, all parents should follow the example of schools and protect children from pornography while they use the internet. Porn site filtering software such as Safe Eyes and Net Nanny are a small price to pay for peace of mind. http://www.internetsafety.com/index.php
Adults and teenagers who need to break an addictive pornography habit will find the 30 day Purity campaign life-changing. http://xxxchurch.com/gethelp/
If you are a not a Christian and reading this, you are probably thinking, “these Christians into porn are just as bad as me!” At one level you are absolutely right. Christians are still sinners. But the big difference is that they have recognized that there is an elephant in the room. It is called sin, and pornography is just one of the sins that Christians are dealing with on a daily basis. The second difference is that Christians are sinners that have been saved by Grace. The dis-grace that they are struggling with, this dis-ease in their bodies and minds, is the very same sin that Jesus died for. God’s word tells us;
“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4: 14-16)
John Malcolm
